sickly sweet cane
Ashley Duck (Macquarie University, Australia)
to me, you are the tide
sweeping, heaping
memories upon my shore
shall we travel back, together
where we saw the fish upon the bank
poking its eyes with sharp sticks
the stench of scaly skin rotting
in the blistering summer sun
deep, angry voices muttering
beyond our giggles
as we grew, we grew apart
and I ridiculed your choices
I broke away
you broke too
in a different way
let’s go back to the cigarette
shared on hospital steps
the laughter, the smile
what about that 50cc bike skidding on backyard grass
or those forever lullabies sung in hushed tones
on the unsteady waterbed and rose-scented sheets
sickly sweet cane
you attracted the critters who crawled into your life
and they settled, under skin
you tried to get them out
forever scratching, blistering
addicted to the thrill, to the pain
it festered and poisoned you
I wonder where our childhood went
what happened to our innocence?
where did the infection begin?
once more– you return me to
tobacco-stained fingers, bottled brew in brown bottles
the Dog on the Tuckerbox
the Three Blind Mice
those ducks in the backyard, a faithful
Hills Hoist and home-constructed swings
the sound of a leather belt across a bare arse
the red tubs and the old mustard boat
walking along the cracked concrete steps up to the back door
the garage, the potbelly
the noose
oh, wash away these memories, tide
it’s too much again
go now, back beyond the darkness
until we meet again
When she’s not spending time with her daughter and husband, Ashley can be found drinking tea and reading the words of Denise Levertov. She’s terrible at writing her own author bio despite studying a Master of Creative Writing at Macquarie University.
